retreat

A couple weeks back our organization had its annual regional ministry retreat for Africa. It was held at a beach side resort in Malindi, Kenya. Absolutely beautiful. The time was given for staff to rest and restore - emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

I slept a minimum of 10 hours each night until the last night (I awoke at 4am and decided it was time to get back to work!)

To be honest, anxiety swam around the retreat as many of our leadership from headquarters were in attendance and that thus far does not mean rest. It wasn't so bad. Even encouraging at times. And humorous to see very serious men who are forced to wear ties in the office come to meetings and meals in swim trunks and mismatched button down shirts. :-)

The 7 days were spent with friends whom I haven't seen in months, lots of girl time, and a few stolen moments by the seaside. Sunday was the most relaxing day I may have had all year - I slept in until 11a, enjoyed coffee on a beautiful garden view balcony with one of my favorite gals, brunched by the poolside with colleagues who had just returned from snorkeling in turquoise waters, lounged by the beach sipping pineapple drinks with more super fabulous girls (I work with all men - girl time is a huge luxury!), and was encouraged by a humbling testimony of a good friend and a time of worship starting the retreat. Dinner and coffee and traditional music followed to close out the day. Super relaxing.

The retreat was full with words of rest and encouragement, morning and night, and workshops on living this expat life in the context of our organization's mission and our personal Christian faith. The most important take away from the retreat came from a question asked "how is your relationship with God?" I was not asked how I was doing personally, or in my work, how many people's lives I was saving through different projects, how much money I have brought in - the normal things of importance you would hear when meeting up with colleagues and the big bosses. The most important question asked all week was how my relationship with God is. If it is good, strength and rest and perseverance and everything else will follow. That simple truth, the gentle reminder that the greatest importance and responsibility of our life here on earth is not to save the sick and the poor and the hungry. It is not to play god and pour out all our energy at the feet of those he places before us. It is to be in relationship with him. To love him. To allow him to love us. These words were so powerful to me. Many of us in this line of work, and especially in this organization, are driven to work hard and long to bring relief and to provide for those in need. The responsibility and weight of that is tremendously and completely unrealistic. But as I've said many times before, it's nearly impossible not to carry that burden when face to face with the need and the people. Heart-breaking. Gut-wrenching. Many of my colleagues are working because they feel a "calling", an appointment from God that this is where he wants them and to serve our brothers and sisters in the most extreme and vulnerable crevices of this world. To hear that the most important thing is our relationship with God, rather than what we are contributing to saving the world, is the greatest gift we could have received.

The theme of the retreat was "elevate":

“For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will lift me high upon a rock. And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me, and I will offer in his tent sacrifices with shouts of joy; I will sing and make melody to the LORD. Hear, O LORD, when I cry aloud; be gracious to me and answer me!" Ps. 27:5-7