significant

There are moments in life that are so significant you don’t always know what to do with them. We all have them. Some are big and life changing; others are small and victorious to only oneself. And then there are those goosebump moments where time stands still and you can’t believe what you are seeing and feeling. All you know is that it is so significant you have to remember to breathe.

I am someone who needs to remind myself daily of the significant things to keep stepping forward. My defense at the moment is that I am living in a country outside of my own which functions on a completely different scale. It’s not better or worse, it’s just different (or so I continue to repeat to myself :-)). There is a four-month mark in a new job, a new location, which hits me hard and my frustration esculates to the point of near destruction. I want to quit. I don’t see the significance in continuing when things are so clearly askew with little hope in them changing. I realize I am the one that needs to change and therefore its time to move on. :-) Obviously, this is not the high road. So I remind myself of the significants in my life to put that next step forward in faith that there are more to come.

I am stepping forward. I apologize if my writings in the past month or so have been heavy with frustration or non-existent. I do still have moments within my day that I am overwhelmed with where I am and amazed at the many blessings that have brought me here. I love being in Africa. I love that I am a part of a bigger picture in the work that I am doing. I also have moments of being completely overwhelmed in a not so positive way and need to remind myself to breathe. :-) The daily struggles of living in a foreign land, not speaking the language or understanding the culture, adjusting to the heat and living conditions, are a lot to take. Thankfully, I only am asked to take one day at a time. My greatest struggle at the moment is the language barrier. I’m at a crossroads with my work. I need to speak and understand the Portuguese language to do my job well and I have not yet become fluent. I am practicing and studying. I find myself speaking it more and more unconsciously. And I am able to communicate past the morning greetings and saying please and thank you. I can understand most of what is said in a short meeting – if spoken slowly. These are my little victories each day. The significant at the moment is that I am still here. I haven’t quit. I am stepping forward. :-)