urgency

A boy about ten years of age ran up behind me as I entered my friend’s apartment. I didn’t see him. Just as I opened the door (I had a key) he pushed his body up against mine to also get inside. As I hadn’t seen him behind me, his sudden urgency frightened me and I pushed him away and closed the door. Only the door wouldn’t close as he continued to push harder and harder to get in. He wanted something. And he was persistent. And quite forceful. After a few minutes of this tug and war I was able to close the door and lock it. He continued to push. And then the doorbell rang. His fingers held down the button so hard it became a constant noise of high-pitched urgency – he wanted in. For the next 15 minutes he rang that doorbell. He was not giving up easily.

I sat straight up in bed this morning with a sense of urgency filling my chest. I don’t know why. The incident with the little boy came to my mind. How often do we demonstrate this sense of urgency in our lives? How often do we live by faith that when the urgency comes to us, there is a higher power that is available to take it? To calm us. To provide for that need that is pressing on our hearts so. Not often enough.

Speaking with my friend later that night we concluded the boy probably wanted food. I felt awful I turned him away. But I was surprised and a bit frightened by his urgency. Was he just a kid looking for trouble? Playing around? Or was he really in need of food? Desperate enough to do whatever it took to fill the ache inside of him?

Living in places such as an African country with a history of war and famine or even on some of our own city streets in the US, you can come face to face with those who are hungry. When I get hungry, I get crabby. I get short. And eventually I wear down to have no energy. But then I get food. I don’t know what would happen to me if the food didn’t come. Would I be desperate enough to beg for it? To push myself into someone’s home, steal from someone’s pocket, or lift an empty hand and look someone in the face begging for help? Would I do that? Could I do that? Or is my pride too big? We’re taught not to beg, not to lie, not to steal. Are there exceptions to these rules? How much judgment should we place on those who break the rules and live a life so far removed from our own that we could never walk in their shoes? They are wearing no shoes. How can we judge? And more importantly, how do we help? How do we help lesson their pain? The hunger? Can we help?

There is a sense of desperate urgency in so many lives of people we meet everyday. It may not be visible. It may not be knocking on our door, begging. But I would take a bet it is pushing its way inside our hearts and maybe even inside our lives. Can you ignore it? Can you walk away? Is there something you can do to help fill the ache? The pain. The hunger. Will it remain?