wrestling

There are times I forget I am in Africa. The conveniences of our busy western-style life are here. There are other times I am acutely aware of where I am, the position I hold, and the things that separate me from my fellow community members. My house cleaner is one. I wrestle with this daily. A very sweet lady, an awesome cleaner, yet what I am paying her for a week of work I would not even consider doing the job myself for an hours’ wage. (I think this is the hard part.) And yet, after speaking with my Kenyan colleagues, I find she has swindled me into paying her over double what the wage is for this neighborhood. Double. To make matters even more challenging, she is the wife of our office maintenance man of 20 years. That is a plus for security and dependability; a negative when I realized the swindling after the fact and he now greets me with a huge smile each morning.

I pour my coffee and tip toe around his freshly mopped floor. I know they have five children living at home. I know they live out in the slums. While I come home to my shiny clean penthouse apartment in the upscale neighborhood I live, I know I am contributing to their livelihood. But I still wrestle.

Making the decision to hire a house cleaner is one I struggled with. I don't mean to sound pompous but I can clean my own house. I actually don’t mind a good Saturday scrub to de-stress from the week and start fresh on Sunday. There is a sub-culture here to hire house staff who care for your home - cleaners, cooks, nannies, gardeners, etc. As an expatriate, I can pay a good wage and give someone a job; food on the table, fees for children’s activities, transport money. But I wrestle with attributing to this sub culture - mostly because I could never afford it at home and the injustice of salary here gives me a negative taste in my mouth. I also fear I may be exemplifying the gap between mazungo and my community members by paying her over double the wage in my neighborhood. (Any ideas on how to fix this??) The damage with that is done, I think. If I were to decrease, I risk the retaliation. The theft. The insecurity. Having someone in the house during the day increases my property security – hopefully. And to be completely honest and selfish, it is wonderful to come home to a clean house after a long day in the office and a dusty walk.

Fortunately, there is too much work to be done to spend much time feeling guilty. But I am wrestling.