Tonight we went out for Thai food – yum! The best part was having dinner with a friend and the conversation that took place. “I bet you will be with SP for many years to come…or maybe not” is how it began. What sets our organization apart from the many other international relief and development organizations out here doing exactly the same projects? I rattle off the automatic response, well rehearsed from countless introductions. Hmm. We talk of purpose. Money. A healthy life. Why are we here? Is what we do making any kind of difference? What kind of difference do we want to make? How does this line of work shape who we are and who we become? The questions seem endless and full of deep thought when going beyond the rehearsed responses. Of course these questions I wrestle with often, but to be honest, this position has been more peaceful in my heart. Not in my mind. I struggle with many things to get through some days. But I wonder what counts more: a peace in our hearts or a peace of mind? God gave us a mind to think and use and he gives us discernment, we wrestle at times and make decisions. But my heart is calm. That has to count for something too.
I don’t know what the future holds or how long I will be here. I do know that right now, I have peace in my heart. As we conversed over spicy shrimp and coconut chicken, battling the questions that often awake us in the middle of the night or become a hot topic of conversation with friends, I kept going back to knowing that peace is not mine. It is given and I will hold on until it is taken. Some days, tightly. :)
There’s a song I can’t get out of my head. Let me share with you…
No comments:
Post a Comment