Colossians 1:11

"May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience." A friend shared this with me the other day - that God's power is active in us to enable us to patiently persevere.

I need an extra dose, please! To be strengthened with power, God's power and might, to endure and persevere. What does that look like? I love my job. I really do. I enjoy living in Africa, being a part of something greater, constantly learning new things. But as I've recently been reminded, I'm still human and no matter how much I love doing this job and living in these foreign homes, I can't do it alone. Not by my strength nor might. I seem to have none. My days here start and end in prayer. Sometimes the middle of the day is also consumed on my knees, but I can't get through the days without it. And when I try, I see how nonexistent my patience is, I wonder where my kindness has gone, and when and where I lost my empathy. The thing is, I never really had any of those. They are God's. And without him, this work I'm doing is in vain. And not helpful to anyone.

I recently asked for help, I needed a break. It was wonderful, but I'm still looking for that empathy I feel got lost somewhere admist the work. Which doesn't make sense, I know. Starving children and grieving parents would break anyone's heart. And they have broken mine several times over. But who puts the heart back together and gives endurance to continue to allow it to be broken again?

There is a cruel reality to the humanitarian relief work. A cynicism, an addiction, a cycle that needs to be broken at times to make it whole again. The truth is none of us can do it alone. The very definition of humanity is "human beings collectively". We need each other. And we need God's communion to be strengthened by his might, provided with endurance and endless patience to persevere through the broken hearts. I am thankful each day that my job is part of a Christian organization, a family, who also gains their strength and endurance through our Father's great might. That we share grace and forgiveness with each other when the cynicism and addiction takes over. By addiction, I am referring to this overwhelming need that gnaws inside of you to keep working, keep pushing, to save the human race. Ridiculous, I know. But it does play a part when you are face to face with poverty and destruction on a daily basis. You either don't notice because the sight is so common, or you are blinded with anger at the injustice and that fuels the obsession to work even harder.

I am reminded that I was not asked to do this alone. That God's power is active and enabling. And that in the midst of the injustice, the starvation and the pain, God sees each one of his children, he feels their pain and he will bring them relief. Not me, I'm not here doing it alone. God's hand is active and touching the lives of those hurting every day. I urge each of us to continue to be on our knees in prayer for those in a present crisis - whether they are suffering from famine here in East Africa or are your family and friends at home, we all need each other.