Sep 6, 2008

(17° 15' 7" south, 35° 15' 15" east)

The sun is out and it’s a beautiful Saturday morning in Mutarara. I arrived just this week and have been trying to find a way to describe to you all what it is like here. I have never been in a place such as this. I’m having a hard time writing.

So I will copy and paste some thoughts I sent to my brother upon my arrival. They may help in describing where I am…

“i now understand what people's faces meant when they heard where i was going. i've never been to a place like this before. i had this feeling as we were four-wheeling it through the bush to get here that this is going to change me. i don't know how. but it will. i really believe i have found "no where". there seems to be no other way to describe it. though i imagine there are many more of these places – you probably see them where you are. the town of mutarara sits up on a hill above the river. there's the longest bridge i have ever seen in my life running across it. i'm told the entire area is flooded when it rains. right now only a fraction of it has water - and its still a very wide river. i imagine monster crocodiles coming up the banks at night to eat the shadows of people wandering the town. :-) j/k! there are no people here!!! i'm told most of them live in resettlement camps further down the river. i have yet to see. i'm sure i will one of these days. there are no roads here. you think that's not possible, i thought it wasn't possible, but its true. just endless amounts of dirt and rock and washed out terrain. there are many buildings in this town, however they are all carved out and empty, burned from fire or falling down from age. no one lives in them. its like a ghost town. no electricity at night. kids come out and play in the streets in the dark. there is but one shop and restaurant. no running water. i haven't seen any roadside stands that sell food or drinks. it’s very odd – especially for africa. the only vehicles are from us and the other two ngos. the town seems to be void of women. as does my office. the men are all nice, but its an odd feeling being not only the single white expat, but also female. i feel a little out of place. the office is cozy. it is one big open room with desks in a u-shape. its only our programs that are running here- just emergency response. though at the moment there is no emergency. i have so much to learn. but i will have lots of time. i am told there is little to do except work.”

My first impressions of the village are slowly changing. It is peaceful here. Quiet. The village does sits on top of a hill. The view is beautiful! The Zambezi River flows beneath it. Wide. Deep. The bridge is called “Dona Anna”. It is the longest rail bridge in Africa. A total distance of 3.7 km. I’ll have to take a picture. :-) Men ride bicycles along the red uneven dirt as they pass our office during the day. Women walk with water jugs atop their heads. I receive smiles and greetings as I walk to the office in the morning. I am learning to appreciate Nescafe (powdered coffee) from a can. :-)

The staff in the office here are all very kind & a few of them even speak English! (an excitement for me as I've struggled with a lack of English speakers since I've arrived in Moz)

There is electricity in the office and in our rooms. There is no running water. My living quarters are said to be changing soon – so I’ll save those details for when they do. :-)

I am finally here. I am in Mutarara. I am living in a village. (I have to keep repeating it to myself to believe it ;-))

Today I am reminded that it is September. It is the beginning of autumn at home; my favorite time of year. I awoke this morning thinking of where I was last September. My housemates and I would be excited to go to the farmers market in Brattleboro to buy wildflower bouquets and drink delicious chai. I could not have imagined I’d be here now, one year later. I had no idea this place even existed. I wrote home at the beginning of this week and announced that I’d arrived in “no where”. I had found that place where no one goes and no one can find. I still feel like I’m “no where” – but I am somewhere. I will have to do some exploring to where I am. I need to be open to life in a village. I need to get past my desires of comfort as I know them and adjust. And I need to figure out how to do that without blocking out the rest of the world – so not to be dwelling on the things I do not have but know exist. (such as running water with hot showers on a cold evening!) I am struggling as to how I can adjust. I will, it’s just a struggle at the moment. I hate being woken in the middle of the night by rats chewing above my head. Thankfully the mosquito net creates a cozy euphoric state for my mind to pretend I am safe and sound and the critters cannot actually touch me. :-) I have a lot of learning to do. The unexpected journey continues.

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