10 months

Alot can happen in 10 months. I've had the opportunity to have a little extra time on my hands this week and have been catching up with my email and friends. So much has happened this past year at home, I feel as if not much has happened here. I'm sure I'm wrong, but in general this line of work takes a lot of patience and when you do mostly work, that makes for a slow year. But in the outside world, four engagements have occurred, my nephew is turning FIVE, babies have been born, babies have been lost, jobs have been obtained and left already. Life just keeps moving on.

I can't help but feel a bit left out at times. Of course, I don't want the heartache, only the joyous moments. As I cleaned out my personal emails, I found ones from last year, when I was living in the states. I had a good job, loved that my family was near, living in my favorite part of town. Life was good. But there was an ache inside that gnawed at me every day. I haven't had that ache in 10 months. I love my job here, it's fulfilling, it's challenging, it's what I'm trained to do. It's what I want to be doing. But instead of an ache, there's now a longing in its place to be near my family and my friends. To not be missing out on all the things that have happened in the last 10 months. To wonder what would be happening with me if I was not here. To want to be near my friends as they experience heartache and joy.

But there's never a guarantee. I'm sure you've all heard the saying, if you want to make God laugh, make a plan! I hate making plans. I enjoy having things to look forward to, but in general plans bring disappointment because they never quite happen as you hope. I'd rather be surprised and take what comes.

10 months. It's really a short amount of time.

Jeremiah 29:11-14a: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you."

This verse promises if we seek, we will find. If we ask, he will listen. It doesn't say we find the plan, but that we find our Lord. When I am up against a decision to be made, I often read this verse over and over in frustration waiting to hear His plan for my life, which way to go, what to choose. But I've been missing the point. Yes, it would be easier if he gave us the plan, but would we need him as much? Would we continue to call upon him? I think the point is Him wanting a relationship with us, individually, consistently, and that's what is important.  I hate missing out on the joys and pains of my friends. I'm guessing God hates it even more when we don't ask him to be here for ours.